Look, Winter, we get it. You are very powerful and super cool. But enough is enough. Today is yet another snow day for my kids and between those and the millions of 2-hour-delayed start days, my children have had about an hour and a half of school learning time since the new year. Do you want my kids to be stupid?
Sure, there are fun parts like sledding on your fluffy mountainous blankets of powder. And I won't lie, snow ice cream is delicious. But now I have a stomach ache and the pent up energy my son has from not being able to go to soccer practice is enough to power the neighborhood. This also means and that my son and daughter have much more time within the same walls to take part in their favorite hobby. Bickering. Please, Winter, show a girl some mercy.
My little beagle mutt looks at me with sad eyes as she hops her way through the snow to use nature's facilities. If she stops, she disappears into the whiteness. We watch with worried glances until eventually we see some color from her fur as she burrows her way back to the door to reenter the house, shivering, cold and wet. She spends the next four hours under a blanket just to recover from her traumatic bathroom break.
Our big blonde lab gets so excited that in addition to requiring a game of snow ball catch (admittedly very cute), he runs, dives and rolls until he is completely covered in snow. Someone always "accidentally" lets him in the house fully covered so that our floors and carpets quickly become slick, dirty and soaked. He takes a sprint through all levels of the house, then curls up in any remaining blankets for the next four hours, oozing wet dog smell all over the furniture.
You are killing me, Winter. The house, my sanity and my good will can't take it. What if the roads are bad and one of us needs an appendectomy? What do you have to say to that, huh? I am staring at you with disapproval.
Then I think about the people further north. Seriously, Winter, can you at least cut them a break? Over a hundred inches of snow is not funny, dude.
I am pleading with you. Let the sun melt your icy heart just a little bit. You need a vacation, too! You've been working SO hard this season. Take a little time off now and relax.